As the hours burn,
As the tragedies continue to come and go.
This time there is no need to stay okay and just settle.
This time lies won’t fix the damage,
There is nothing left of the past.
I thought that the last thread would stay,
I have been afraid for years and it won’t keep me any longer.
I’ve seen too much,
Been placed back together.
I’ve stitched up every piece of me.
All the mysteries of me,
Are the best of me.
I’ve taken all of me back over and over again.
I’ve been rebuilt from the bottom up.
Sorry doesn’t exist anymore.
Time has passed me by…
If I allow you to cut through the surface,
I might allow myself to fall for you.
Behind everything that I am,
Behind everything that I have come to be.
I’ve done what I’ve had to, to get to this point.
There is no time,
Fading isn’t an option.
The Moon and Sun gravitational pull forces me down here,
Grounding me to this planet.
I’ve never been free,
Always been a slave to my own dreams,
Always been a slave to the many, many secrets and promises that I hold.
I’ve allowed nothing to break through my walls,
I’ve inked the final promise.
I make promises and keep them no matter what the price or cost.
Gone the distance to hold onto the secrets…..
Allowing some just beneath the surface,
Only to see them run as the surface is revealed.
Scratching the top layer away,
It grows back twice as strong.
I’ve wasted tears over the years,
I’ve wasted words on those who don’t really matter.
There is no longer a fragile line,
There is no longer trust in those who thing I can be tossed to the side.
There is no telling how long I have been awake….
There is no telling how long my age is going keep me hostage to my physical being…..
I’ve fallen down over and over again.
Picked myself up,
Brought myself back to feeling okay again.
No hands holding,
Just falling forever,
Waiting for the one,
Who I know will take my place…..
The distance I keep is for myself,
Although I’m waiting for something more.
I’m keeping a distance until that gap has disappeared between us.
You see, for everything that is, there wouldn’t be…..
For everything that has a possibility you see.
I keep waiting for you to take me….
Both just waiting for the other person to say the words that are still our secrets for another day.
I’ve gone to say the words,
But the words stay with me and it gets harder to breathe….
How to get me alone is simple,
How to speak to me is simple..
Just close your eyes and breathe,
There is so much to say,
I’m falling closer to a quite evening alone,
Sitting on the couch with a cup of coco with mini marshmallows.
Since the words are still my own.
Falling into a pool of secrets…..